Let’s be honest: we’re pretty shitty when it comes to loving ourselves, yet we still manage to fall deeply in love with someone that made eye-contact with us in the supermarket.
I have struggled with self-love for as long as I can remember. I shut compliments down by pulling a funny face or muttering back a quick remark, but never say thank you. I stare in the mirror and what I see back is picked apart. My own thoughts tell me ‘you will never be good enough’. But I'm done. I'm over it. I'm sick of hating myself when, for a fact, I'm f**king fantastic. And no, I'm not a d**k for saying that. You should try it sometime, confidence looks good on you, I promise.
I'm no self-professed self-love guru, but I'm starting the conversation, because self-love has been a frowned upon topic for far too long. And it isn't something you are magically granted overnight, but it's something we all need to work towards. In the wise words of Hannah Montana, “Nobody’s perfect, you live it and learn it”.
You may be thinking, ‘but how do I gain the ability to love myself and look past my flaws and take on Hannah Montana's mantra?’ Well, first, you need to realise your self-worth is not based on what others think of you. How will you ever learn to truly love someone else if you can't even accept yourself for the brilliant bad-ass that you are? Here are a few more tips, from one person who’s trying to love themselves to another.
Be honest with yourself
You don't need to do hot yoga to realise you are hot shit. Get a pen and a notebook out and write down what you admire about yourself. If you are thinking well, shit... I don't even know what I like about myself, start by asking a friend or a family member what they admire about you and write that down. They will start flowing from there, trust me. And when you need a reminder about how awesome you are, look back on these.
Post-it notes are great for studying, but you know what else they are great for? Compliments. Compliment yourself and put them around your room; you’ll be surprised by how all that bull shit negativity slowly disappears when you are surrounded by positive post-it notes.
Get real with it
Faking it ‘til ya make it is great and all, but what if I told you that you don’t need to fake confidence anymore? Literally just start believing in yourself more. Every time you catch yourself saying ‘I can’t’, or ‘I suck at that’ or ‘I’m afraid to do that’, change it up. Start saying, ‘Shit yes I can’, or ‘I’m not the best but I’ll give it a go’, or even ‘I’m kind of scared shitless but I’m willing to take the risk’. It’s the little words that will make the biggest difference and boom! Confidence will shine out of your pores (glowing skin, sign me up).
Start a trend
Self-love is almost frowned upon. It's like ‘how dare you love yourself when I hate myself’. It's this trap that we have been caught in for far too long. Start talking about self-love. Have a chat to your best friend, your flatmate, your mum, or anyone who is willing to learn about what you love about yourself, and maybe they will start to gain confidence around what they love about themselves. Start a trend.
We are not cocky, ignorant or better than someone else when telling ourselves that we are worth it. Remember that.